Ode to Parties I’ll Never Throw

By Kristi S.

Every year around this time, I am seized with the spirit of the season and decide to throw a party. I put all kinds of cookbooks on hold, plan my menu, make a playlist, and Pinterest like crazy. Then, I remember that I hate parties and am not at all social. So, I am left hiding under the blankets of my bed, clutching all of these plans that will never be used.

Fortunately, this year I have a place to live out my party dreams without having to talk to anyone. Thank you, internet. I’ve pulled together a list of all my favorite party resources and I’m ready to set the scene. Picture it:

The Food

There are only two reasons I would attend an actual party, first and foremost being food. Party food has to be both delicious and portable. This is the optimum combination for swooping in on the buffet, filling my plate, and scurrying away to eat in silence. With that practice in mind, I’m turning to these books for small bites with big flavor:


The Drinks

The second reason I would attend an actual party is an open bar. Cocktails are fun, but they are also expensive. It’s nice to indulge every so often with good company. This year, I’ve been flipping through these beautiful books while visions of gimlets dance in my head:


The Ambience

We’ve got the food, we’ve got the drinks, I guess we’re doing this. I’m about to channel my inner Ina Garten, pull out the good vanilla, and play the accomplished host with these titles at hand:


Back to Real Life

Now that the party is over and I am socially exhausted, I am putting my entertaining skills to rest for another year. I’m turning out all the lights, pretending I’m not home, and curling up with a good book by the fire.

What are your party plans this season? Give us introverts some advice in the comments!

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10 responses to “Ode to Parties I’ll Never Throw”

  1. Caroline says:

    I’m just the same. I love this post!

  2. Readiculous says:

    This is my kind of party! Everything looks delicious, and I don’t have to mix with anything other than the tonic water.

  3. Erin L. says:

    Introvert here. I love the idea of parties but hate planning and the mixing with people. Love one on one encounters in the corner and contributing to the food preperation. Luckily, I have an extrovert mom and a sort of extrovert sister and we collaborate. They are the planning and the “life of the party hostesses” and I get raves for my baking and cooking contributions. Just find me in the corner to tell me.

    • Kristi S. says:

      This is such a solid strategy, Erin! I have an extrovert sister and we often take this approach. If you’re looking for baking inspiration, I have been obsessed with Bake From Scratch this year. As we approach holiday party week, I wish you happy baking and hiding!

  4. kaley says:

    LET’S GET FIZZICAL! I love it!

  5. Lisa A says:

    I can’t tell you how many parties I have planned only in my head! This is fabulous inspiration for another!

    • Kristi S. says:

      So glad you understand me, Lisa. Make sure to include me as a guest at your imaginary party! I’ll bring candy, of course.

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